when it rains, it pours

I have been having a hard time of things the past week or so...things were starting to look up...I got a phone call this morning from my step-mother informing me that my Dad's mother passed away last night.  Grandma Hamilton (she remarried and changed her name from White) was a guarded woman, she was not the squishiest of people, let alone grandmothers!  She had been suffering for years and while I am very thankful she is at peace now I will miss her dearly.  

sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing...

  Yucka to all the tears, all the heartbreak, all the questions, and all the time I have wasted.   Yucka to all the nights I didn't sleep because I was asking the impossible of myself!   Yucka to allowing myself to believe I'm not good enough!  Yucka to my belief that there is something wrong with me! I have worked too hard to get healthy and find happiness in my life to settle now.  Yucka because I do love him, and he does love me but he isn't the one.  Yucka to me for throwing the truth back in his face over and over again...yucka. noey. this sucks. 

ewie yucka!

The sunshine came today.  I laid in my bed wondering why it was so very warm under my covers.  It was my sleep in day so I did not realize that the world outside was warm and sunny until I was on my way to work...the sunshine also brought with it visitors to my beloved Asbury Park.  I love that people want to come to Asbury, I love it here so it makes sense that others would love it too...however I would like to send a message to these visitors; Some of us choose to live here year round and year round we respect each other, we follow the very simple rules of the road that actually don't differ much than the rules of the road where you come from.  Oddly enough a blinking yellow stop light means proceed with caution in Asbury Park, where you come from it seems to mean stop at the light and think about if you want to turn left for 30 seconds and then decide against it.  We also have these strange two wheeled and no wheeled travelers around our small beach community, we call them Ped-es-tree-ions and we actually don't try to run them over or cut them off by turning right in the bike lane...I know they are annoying but come and visit in the winter, there are far fewer to annoy you.  Here in Asbury Park we park on an angle when the white lines are perpendicular at a slight angle, it seems that where you are from you park parallel to the curb crossing over the performentioned white lines.  I understand that there are cultural differences between Staten Island and the Jersey Shore but please work with us we want you to enjoy yourselves.  Where you come from i'm sure it is the norm to order a 40 dollar lunch and not leave a tip and thats ok, however here at the Shore when someone takes your order, prepares the food, brings it to you with a smile, and then cleans up after you and your so cute but very messy children we usually leave a small gratuity, crazy, I know!!  Again, we love that you want to come and visit and at the very least please try to use these simple words to make your summer and ours most enjoyable, PLEASE and THANK YOU, you will be amazed at how we respond to these few simple words, if you have trouble pronouncing them we will be more than willing to teach you.   Thank you for your time, and please enjoy your time here in Asbury!  xoxoxo

the business of coffee

Pants and I went to Lambertville today to work on our business plan for the coffee shop we are working towards opening.  What an awesome, cute, and friendly town!  We ate lunch at a totally yumma japanese restaurant and had chocolate shaped like little coffee cups for desert.  We saw a lot of interesting antique shops and I would have spent all day drooling over lovely items I can not afford had it not been for the task at hand.  We walked into one coffee shop and right out, we both agree that flavored coffee is not ok, it is bad and wrong and we will not drink coffee at a shop who thinks it is ok to serve it cos it is not.  Choosing to not even enter a couple other shops  we walked past another coffee shop it seemed like a well enough spot but it was located right near where we parked and we had plans of checking it out on our way out of town, this did not happen.  I didn't feel like any of the shops we had seen really had the vibe and the level of knowledge of the bean we were hoping to find, that is until we came across...or rather walked all the way across town at the nudging of my boss to Rojos Roastery.  Holy shit, this is a freakin amazing shop, everything is just beautiful.  One look at this place and you couldn't help but know they meant business, a giant beautiful drum roaster in one corner surrounded on both sides by shelves of raw coffee beans all the way to the very high ceiling.  A menu that included 5 different ways to have your coffee made to order, not including the espresso machine option!  I was happy as a pig in shit and had three drinks while Pants and I sat attempting to make some progress on our business plan.  ugh, what a huge task.  He is playing his new pirate game on the xbox and I am so very comfortable snuggled up with the laptop on the couch.  Me go now. xoxoxo